Insights – Melannie Thomas

Archive for October, 2016

The US will celebrate it’s second most commercially successful holiday on October 31.  Halloween candy sales exceed 2 billion dollars annually, with chocolate bars topping the list.

Jack ‘O Lanterns originated in Ireland.  Turnips were hollowed out to keep away the spirits and ghosts of Samhain (pronounced sow-en).

Halloween was brought to North America by immigrants from Europe.  They celebrated the harvest with bonfires, the sharing of ghost stories, singing, dancing, and fortune-telling.

The ancient Celts believed that spirits and ghosts roamed the countryside on Halloween night, so they wore masks and costumes to avoid being recognized as humans.

Samhain is the celebration of a Pagan Shabbat honoring the ancestors who have passed before us, and marking the dark time.  Sunset on Samhain marks the beginning of the Celtic calendar.  The fear of Halloween is known as Samhainophobia.

Just a few interesting facts about America’s infatuation with Halloween.  Enjoy the festivities!

You know the experience, (which is becoming rarer), of being in a place where there is utter stillness.  Like late at night when the crickets suddenly stop chirping and the sound of silence is deafening, if not alarming.

Pico Iver writing about The Art of Stillness (Experience Life, October 2016),  tells of his journey to find inner stillness.  He shares the insight of his boyhood hero, Leonard Cohen: “Going nowhere…isn’t about turning your back on the world;  it’s about stepping away now and then so you can see it more clearly and love it more deeply.”

Iver lists four practices that can can help one to reach a place of stillness:  “Be for Real”, “Take the Road to Nowhere”, “Unplug and Recharge”, and “Keep the Sabbath”, (Sabbath means ‘rest’).

There are many ways to find that personal place of stillness.  A few of my faves: leisurely cup of coffee in the early morning quiet,  working in my garden before the neighborhood awakens,  food preparation meditation, listening to music that relaxes me, and sitting quietly on the patio doing and thinking nothing.

I invite you this week to notice the behaviors you incorporate into your life to slow its often hectic pace.

In a busy restaurant, waiting for a friend, I people-watched; observing several  tables where the diners were actively using cell phones.  Not being together,  just sitting together.  As meals were delivered by the wait staff, most laid their phones down on the table next to their plates, and commenced dining.

Some conversation was exchanged (not many talked with a mouth full of food), but when a phone buzzed or flashed, many owners of said phones  immediately focused his or her full attention to the incoming message.  I was mesmerized by this ritual of ignoring; by the blatant disinterest with their present company.

Active, compassionate listening is challenge enough for 21st century consciousness; which is bombarded every few seconds with information.

We all have had the experience of being in a moment of sharing our day, our joy, our woe, our selves, our soul with a fellow earth-traveler, only to have them respond absently, distractedly, interjecting their opinion and advice, or, literally answering their ‘call-waiting’.  Sadly, we too, have likely been guilty of a similar response.

To actively listen, to listen with compassion requires us to be fully present.  Ben Connelly writes in “Compassionate Listening” (Experience Life, October 2016) about the Five Ways to Be a Better Listener: “Listen with your whole body.  Hear with your whole mind.  Know your own heart. Open your whole heart. And Let it be.”

There truly is an art of conversation, and the biggest part of being successful at this art…is listening.

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen.  Just listen.  Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”  ~Rachel Naomi Remen

I invite you this week to listen.

As many of you may be aware, we have been having difficulty with our e-mail delivery system.  My wonderful, tenacious Webmaster has worked tirelessly these past few weeks to find a workable solution.

As we make the necessary adjustment, you may find yourself being ‘unsubscribed’ from my weekly blog.  It is a product of making the repair.

I invite you to re-subscribe.  When I write my weekly blogs, you are in my mind.  You inspire me to create the best blog achievable in that moment.  Without your support, feedback and appreciation, the process would mean very little to me. It would be hollow, and my effort and energy would soon fade away.

YOU are the co-creative, active reading part of this experience.  I thank you all with my heart and with all my joy.

Thank you for your loving patience.

Forgiveness is quintessential to a life of peace and joy.  To forgive is a serious challenge; especially the act of forgiving ourselves.

I believe that forgiveness is essential to mental health.  But forgiving is not forgetting. Forgetting negates experiential reality and creates a repetitious play.  Forgiving is letting go of pain, trauma and angst.  To forgive allows wounds to heal; looking at our scars leads us to acknowledge that healing has taken place.  Without this process, we bleed into helplessness and hopelessness.

I found these quotes powerfully reflective of my attitude of forgiveness.

“It is not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.”    ~Tyler Perry

“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  ~Mahatma Gandhi

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson

I invite you to find the power to forgive.