Mistake
“The greater mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.” This quote out of a fortune cookie inspired this week’s blog.
The definition of mistake is variously, error, omission, flaw, blunder, slip-up, oversight, miscalculation, misunderstanding, misreading, boo boo, goof, misconception, etc. These can be divided into two categories.
One acknowledges that mistakes are a normal part of human behavior and essential to the growth of the authentic self; the other reflects shame, incompetence, fear and inadequacy.
Oversight, misunderstanding, error or miscalculation are opportunities for growth. As infants we make many ‘mistakes’ learning to turn over, crawl, sit-up, walk and run. It is a trial and error process that leads to accomplishment and success. Yet, as adults, this abundance of experience is overcome by fear of appearing foolish, unprepared, inadequate, or ignorant.
Blunders, faux pas, slips, boo boos, goofs, imply incompetence and stupidity. Mistakes that create embarrassment and shame. This category reflects a societal and familial belief that mistakes are bad, creating anxiety and avoidance; the more important the decision, the greater the anxiety. Hence, we often try to avoid making decisions. There is an important distinction here. For example, a person who drives under the influence with or without tragic consequences, has not made a ‘mistake’, they have used very poor judgement.
So many platitudes about learning from our mistakes state that this learning should be quick and easy. You don’t make the same mistake twice implying that if you do there is something wrong with you. In reality we make the same mistake repeatedly, often aware that we are doing it, but not knowing why.
The path to self-actualization includes re-framing our belief and experience with mistakes. We are going to make thousands of them in a lifetime, unmemorable and significant.
Mistakes can become magnifying glasses for personal transformation, or remain symbols of personal inadequacy and failure. We have the power to choose.
Blessings!
