Insights – Melannie Thomas

In a busy restaurant, waiting for a friend, I people-watched; observing several  tables where the diners were actively using cell phones.  Not being together,  just sitting together.  As meals were delivered by the wait staff, most laid their phones down on the table next to their plates, and commenced dining.

Some conversation was exchanged (not many talked with a mouth full of food), but when a phone buzzed or flashed, many owners of said phones  immediately focused his or her full attention to the incoming message.  I was mesmerized by this ritual of ignoring; by the blatant disinterest with their present company.

Active, compassionate listening is challenge enough for 21st century consciousness; which is bombarded every few seconds with information.

We all have had the experience of being in a moment of sharing our day, our joy, our woe, our selves, our soul with a fellow earth-traveler, only to have them respond absently, distractedly, interjecting their opinion and advice, or, literally answering their ‘call-waiting’.  Sadly, we too, have likely been guilty of a similar response.

To actively listen, to listen with compassion requires us to be fully present.  Ben Connelly writes in “Compassionate Listening” (Experience Life, October 2016) about the Five Ways to Be a Better Listener: “Listen with your whole body.  Hear with your whole mind.  Know your own heart. Open your whole heart. And Let it be.”

There truly is an art of conversation, and the biggest part of being successful at this art…is listening.

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen.  Just listen.  Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”  ~Rachel Naomi Remen

I invite you this week to listen.

As many of you may be aware, we have been having difficulty with our e-mail delivery system.  My wonderful, tenacious Webmaster has worked tirelessly these past few weeks to find a workable solution.

As we make the necessary adjustment, you may find yourself being ‘unsubscribed’ from my weekly blog.  It is a product of making the repair.

I invite you to re-subscribe.  When I write my weekly blogs, you are in my mind.  You inspire me to create the best blog achievable in that moment.  Without your support, feedback and appreciation, the process would mean very little to me. It would be hollow, and my effort and energy would soon fade away.

YOU are the co-creative, active reading part of this experience.  I thank you all with my heart and with all my joy.

Thank you for your loving patience.

Forgiveness is quintessential to a life of peace and joy.  To forgive is a serious challenge; especially the act of forgiving ourselves.

I believe that forgiveness is essential to mental health.  But forgiving is not forgetting. Forgetting negates experiential reality and creates a repetitious play.  Forgiving is letting go of pain, trauma and angst.  To forgive allows wounds to heal; looking at our scars leads us to acknowledge that healing has taken place.  Without this process, we bleed into helplessness and hopelessness.

I found these quotes powerfully reflective of my attitude of forgiveness.

“It is not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.”    ~Tyler Perry

“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  ~Mahatma Gandhi

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson

I invite you to find the power to forgive.

It is the season for feasting.  The harvest is in full swing as are preparations to celebrate the abundance.  Sonoma County just hosted the Heirloom Tomato Festival, and the Sonoma County Harvest Fair,  good examples of public harvest celebrations.

Historically, feasting served many purposes: to display opulence, pay debts, frighten enemies, gain allies, negotiate war and peace, communicate with the gods, honor the dead and celebrate rites of passage.

A Sumerian myth dating from 3000-2350 BC relates the story of the god Enki offering butter cakes and beer to the goddess Inanna.  The Feast of the Blessed Sacrament that was created by four immigrant men to commemorate the festivals and sacraments of their Portuguese heritage continues as the largest Portuguese Feast in the world. (portuguesefeast.com).

Our Thanksgiving tradition is a good contemporary example of public feasting and harvest celebration.

Rites of Passage feasting is engaged regularly by all peoples.  Births, deaths, marriages, retirements, accomplishments, award ceremonies, are all feasting events, bringing together families and communities.

This week I invite you to bring greater awareness to how and why you participate in feasting; giving thanks for the richness and abundance we enjoy in these precious moments.

The spectacular Harvest Moon on Friday September 16 majestically heralds the coming of the Fall Equinox.  Reaping the fruits of our labor begins in earnest.  Storing and preparing for the coming winter can consume these precious moments.  It is important to pause and relish the beauty of the season.

In the garden, leaves have been yellowing on my beans for two weeks now, surrendering to the change of seasons.  Cold, crisp mornings melt  into afternoon warmth.

As heaven and earth mark this autumnal shift, I invite you to mark it also.   Celebrate the harvest and the beginning transition to the Solstice.  Bask in the last rays of summer; reflect on the passing of time; honor your part in the wheel of life.

Paul Sutherland writes a column in Spirituality & Health (an awesome quarterly), called ‘The Heart of Money’.  In the Sept/Oct (2016) issue he responds to a reader’s question about risk.

He distills risk to it’s essential quality, “I think the biggest risk one can take in life is declaring to ourselves that we will live a spiritual life.”

To live a spiritual life is to know who you are, to live in the true or authentic self.  To live a life of intention; to know our strengths and weaknesses; to be responsible for our behaviors; to act without judgement; to trust the infinite intellect of perfect love that created us and the home we live on.

It is to know without question the depths of our soul, good, bad or indifferent; and be able to detach from our emotional investments.

The authentic spiritual life is one that finds acceptance, courage, inner peace and even happiness and humor in the most challenging of life’s circumstances.  This is no Pollyanna position, it is the capacity to be with what is, to accept what can’t be changed, to change what is mutable…to feel the agony and the ecstasy of the moment and respond appropriately.

I invite you this week, as we near the Autumnal Equinox, to take a spiritual inventory, and, if necessary, course correct.  Hence being prepared and centered to move into the fullness and beauty of the fall season.

My apologies for the extra email.  Having difficulties with my subscriber list.  Appreciate your patience and loyalty!

We are celebrating Labor Day this weekend.  A National Holiday since 1894, Labor Day is dedicated to acknowledging the workers of America.

I found a quote by John D. Rockefeller that I like, and want to share it with you:  “I believe in the dignity of labor, whether with head or hand.  That the world owes no man a living but that it owes every man an opportunity to make a living.”

There is another labor that deserves to be celebrated: the labor of personal growth.  The very demanding work of becoming an authentic self; of finding our true identity; and reaping the rewards of such labor.  To undertake this journey is to engage yourself in serious work, important work, demanding work.

“Hope has two beautiful daughters.  Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.”  ~Augustine

Today, as you honor, acknowledge and celebrate the American worker, take a few moments to honor, acknowledge and celebrate the labor of your personal growth.

It is not just important to maintain a positive attitude, it is essential to our physical, mental and spiritual health.  It is also a challenging task.

Today, I share with you a few pearls of positive inspiration.

“Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them.  They stay focused on their successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.”

~Jack Canfield

“But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all  the more meaningful and precious.  And for that I am grateful.”

~Elizabeth Edwards

“Live your days on the positive side of life, in tune with your most treasured values.  And in each moment you’ll have much to live for.”

~Ralph Marston

I am blessed to live in an area of California that Luther Burbank referred to as, “God’s chosen place in all the world, as far as nature is concerned.”  Farm to table is commonplace; sustainable farming practices are taking hold.  Farmer’s Markets and Community Supported Agriculture flourish in this verdant environment.

My question to you this week is, ‘Does your spiritual practice sustain you?’  ‘Does it provide you with clean, nourishing sustenance that maintains your overall health?’ ‘Does it provide daily support?’  ‘Does it support you in a crisis?’

We each must find our own way.  A way that is appropriate to us.  A way that sustains us through good times and bad.

It is a process, not an event.  Our spiritual body grows, changes and matures just as our physical and emotional bodies do.  As in our food diet, there is an ebb and flow in our spiritual diet.  There are days when we eat really healthy, and days not so much. So, too, with our spiritual diet.  There are days when we act from love, and days, not so much.  If our physical diet and/or our spiritual diet are out of balance, so are we.

Luther Burbank said many profound things.  One of my favorites is, “Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.”

Part of my practice is to keep fresh flowers in my home…always.  When I came across the above quote I felt a deeper connection to my spiritual practice.

This week I invite you to review your spiritual diet.  ‘Is your daily bread sustaining you?’  ‘Do you enjoy flowers in your daily life?’

It feels good to give.  I find it more difficult to receive.  Generosity is one of humankind’s greatest characteristics.  The following quotes are expressive of this trait.

“There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.”

~Nathaniel Branden

“Religion is a complex and often contradictory force in our word.  It fosters hope and comfort but also doubt and guilt.  It creates both community and exclusion.  It brings societies together around shared belief and tears them apart through war.  However, what unites the faithful, whatever their religion, is the unshakeable force of generosity.”

~Laura Arrillaga-Andreessen

“Money is not the only commodity that is fun to give.  We can give time, we can give our expertise, we give our love or simply give a smile.  What does that cost?  The point is, none of us can ever run out of something to give.”

~Steve Goodier

This week, I invite you to bask in the glow of generosity.