Archive for the ‘Coaching Tips’ Category
Unexpected
The unexpected happens to everyone, and it happens often. It can be experienced individually or collectively. A brief power outage or a debilitating prolonged one, like Puerto Rico is still experiencing almost a year after Hurricane Maria.
Traumatic events, personal and collective leave us struggling to find balance, to cope with loss, grief and often disbelief. Every day as I drive through the savagely scarred landscape of the unprecedented North Bay wildfires, I still experience disbelief. As with Puerto Rico, and countless other places throughout history and around the world, so much of the familiar is gone…and it will never be the same.
“No one is so brave that he is not disturbed by something unexpected.” ~Julius Caesar
“There are uses to adversity, and they don’t reveal themselves until tested. Whether it’s serious illness, financial hardship, or the simple constraint of parents who speak limited English, difficulty can tap unexpected strengths.” ~Sonia Sotomayor
The will to survive, to overcome, to move forward is compelling. The ‘Sonoma Strong’ movement in my community remains active; driven by a shared experience, and a fervent desire to forge ahead.
“You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.” ~Paulo Coelho
The unexpected seldom appears as major events, such as those referenced above. The mundane every day routine is sprinkled generously with unexpected moments. The traffic jam that makes you late for work; the carrots essential to a dish you are making are mysteriously gone; the air conditioner stops working on a really hot day; the garbage disposal is suddenly leaking water everywhere; the dryer stops working, leaving a load of wet clothes to deal with; the party you were so excited about attending is cancelled at the last minute…the list is never ending.
“The shortest period of time lies between the minute you put money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain.” ~Jane Bryant Quinn
The will to overcome the unexpected is a strong characteristic of human beings.
“Spirituality can release blocks, lead you to ideas, and make your life artful. Sometimes when we pray for guidance, we’re guided in unexpected directions. We may want a lofty answer and we get the intuition to clean our bedroom. It can seem so humble and picky that you don’t necessarily think of it as spiritual guidance.” ~Julia Cameron
The profound and the mundane are intimate companions on our journey through the world of the unexpected.
Blessings!
Flexibility
To be flexible is the ability to bend in a multitude of ways, physically, emotionally, financially, politically, romantically, spiritually and more.
“The ability to course correct without losing sight of the goal. Let go of narrow-mindedness, stay open to the flow, and keep current with new information.” ~Angel Card, Tyler & Drake
A culture, society, organization or community cannot survive or thrive without flexibility, nor can the individuals that comprise them.
“You have tremendous flexibility in defining both the greater good and the greater community. If you don’t succeed in this, then you will continue to pull that heavy wagon up the mountain, and despite the fact that you are pulling it, it will somehow run over your own foot.” ~Srikumar Roa
Many structures that appear to be rigid have a degree of flexibility built into them: cars, buildings, banking systems, tennis rackets for example. So too, our thinking and decision-making processes.
“Despite my firm convictions. I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and to accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfolds. I have always kept an open mind, a flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of the intelligent search for truth.” ~Malcolm X
It is our willingness to be flexible, to not only listen, but to ‘hear’ the discourse of those with whom we differ. This quality makes a substantial and essential contribution to our physical, emotional and spiritual healthy maturation.
“If you think the aficionados of a living Constitution want to bring you flexibility, think again. You think the death penalty is a good idea? Persuade your fellow citizens to adopt it. You want a right to abortion? Persuade your fellow citizens and enact it. That’s flexibility.” ~Antonin Scalia
“Freedom always deals with ‘the possible’; this gives freedom its great flexibility, its fascination, and its dangers.” ~Rollo May
I invite you this week to examine the depth and breadth of your flexibility.
Blessings!
Refuge
“…shelter or protection from danger or stress; a place that provides shelter or protection.” ~Merriam Webster
There are basic forms of refuge. Being physically free of persecution and bodily harm, being free of emotional abuse in its myriad forms, these are refuges we most often seek. Yet the least sought after and most powerful is spiritual refuge.
“The wise man in the storm prays God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear. It is the storm within which endangers him, not the storm without.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Spiritual refuge is the ultimate refuge. Seeking safety, protection, comfort and shelter in the Divine Spirit of Love is compelling and effective. To achieve this serenity demands discipline and faith.
“In a world full of fear, be courageous. In a world full of lies, be honest. In a world where few care, be compassionate. In a world full of phonies, be yourself. Because the world sees you. The world hopes for you. The world is inspired by you. The world can be better because of you.” ~Doe Zantamata
“Be your own lamp, seek no other refuge but yourself, Let truth be your light.” ~Buddha
The world as we know it is changing rapidly and dramatically. The dark forces are rising. The light of fairness, justice, compassion, truth and morality grows dimmer each day. But it will never be extinguished, because there are those who cherish it, secure it and nurture it, in all good faith, knowing that ultimately the Divine Light of Truth and Love will prevail.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” ~Ps 46:1
As a nation we just celebrated our Independence Day. I invite you to continue to carry the torch of spiritual refuge. Be the shining light, the glimmer of hope that refuses to go out.
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty…my refuge and my fortress…in whom I trust.” ~Ps 91: 1-2
Summer
Hot days, cool, lovely evenings; Wednesday we celebrate Independence Day, summer is in full swing.
“There is nothing I like better at the end of a hot summer’s day than taking a short walk around the garden. You can smell the heat coming up from the earth to meet the cooler night air.” ~Peter Mayle
The smell of crisp mornings and warm evenings, active bird life and buzzing bees, seasonal fruit, corn on the cob, BBQ’s are among the many pleasures that summer brings. I love the warmth, although as I have aged, the heat is more challenging.
“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.” ~Russell Baker
Each season is unique. Gardens are rich and vibrant as Spring matures into Summer and the cadence is slower.
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” ~John Lubbock
Enjoy your summer!!
Pragmatism
To be pragmatic is to be concerned with the practical consequences of our beliefs and our actions.
Pragmatism means looking at ourselves, our behaviors and our ideas to see if they are working in constructive rather than destructive ways.
The only constant is change, and as the world around us keeps changing, it is incumbent upon us to employ flexibility, reason and spiritual integrity to effect positive change.
“What you pay attention to grows. If your attention is attracted to negative situations and emotions, then they will grow in you.” ~Deepak Chopra
Pragmatism is accepting reality and making the best of it. It is figuring how to employ our integrity; our power in the world. It’s spending our energy for positive change, effecting relationships and using our power to create a better world.
“Greatness is not manifested by unlimited pragmatism, which places such high premium on the end justifying the means and any methods.” ~Margaret Chase Smith
“For all of its well-deserved reputation for pragmatism, American popular culture frequently nurtures or at least tolerates preposterous views and theories. Witness the 9/11 ‘truthers’, who lacking any evidence, claim that 9/11 was a Bush administration plot.” ~Michael Hayden
Tolerance for ambiguity is essential to human survival, tolerance for totalitarian propaganda is a death sentence for the common man and a flourishing democracy.
“Idealism detached from action is just a dream. But idealism allied with pragmatism, with rolling up your sleeves and making the world bend a bit is very exciting. It’s very real. It’s very strong.” ~Bono
Wishing you all a wonderful summer!
Uncertainty
Uncertainty is defined as something that is unknown, unsure or in doubt. What can we say that is actually certain, beyond a doubt? How then do we live in and with this uncertainty?
“There is nothing so uncertain as a sure thing.” ~Scotty Bowman
“That man is prudent who neither hopes nor fears anything from the uncertain events of the future.” ~Anatole France
“To be hopeful means to be uncertain about the future, to be tender toward possibilities, to be dedicated to change all the way down to the bottom of your heart.” ~Rebecca Solnit
“The more ambivalent you are and the more uncertain you are, then you can get something that you cannot anticipate.” ~Elia Kazan
“I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few.” ~Brene Brown
“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.” ~Ursula Le Guin
“..and you get to be at home with change. You get to be at home with uncertainty. You get to be at home with not knowing how it comes out. And you make a plan knowing full well that it may be totally irrelevant a moment later, and you’re at peace with that.” ~Ram Dass
Memorial Day 2018
I’m feeling the acceleration of time. How could it be the end of May already? Memorial Day weekend is here!
Many of us venture into Nature, plan events with family and friends, take a break from increasingly hectic routines, and most importantly, set aside some time to honor our military; active, retired and those who made the ultimate sacrifice for country and freedom.
This Memorial Day feels extra special to me. As the world moves steadily toward darkness and decay. The gap between the haves and the have-nots seems to be growing by leaps and bounds globally, and the very bastions of freedom throughout the world are being shaken to their foundations. On this Memorial Day the service and sacrifice of our noble military forces seems even more poignant and powerful.
I invite you to take a few moments today to celebrate this special Holiday.
Blessings!
Minutia
“…minute or minor detail.” It is a tricky balancing act to keep one’s focus on the big picture and tend to detail at the same time.
‘Not seeing the forest for the trees’ is a saying that reflects how easy it is to get lost in the minutia.
Betrand Malinowski coined the phrase, ‘…the imponderabilia of daily living.’ It is one of my favorite descriptions of the minutia of day-to-day life.
“Knowledge of the self is the mother of all knowledge. So it is incumbent on me to know my self, to know it completely, to know its minutia, its characteristics, its subtleties, and its very atoms.” ~Khalil Gibran
I am not certain that we can completely know ourselves. But I do believe that the more I know my self the greater is my authenticity, freedom from worry and inner peace.
This quote from Deepak Chopra really got my attention.
“A risk-free life is far from being a healthy life. To begin with, the very word ‘risk’ implies worry, and people who worry about every bite of food, sip of water, the air they breathe, the gym sessions they have missed, and the minutia of vitamin doses are not sending positive signals to their cells. A stressful day sends constant negative messaging to the feedback loop and popping a vitamin pill or choosing wheat bread instead of white bread does close to zero to change that.”
Chopra’s use of food, water, air, vitamins and exercise exemplifies getting lost in the minutia of managing our health, our stress. These elements are essential for our physical survival, literally.
To have a healthy life demands cultivating a belief system that enriches our faith and promotes our capacity to trust the process. We need them both.
Surrendering ourselves to the care of the Divine Energy of Love is taking a profound risk.
This week I ask, ‘Are you a risk-taker?’
Integrity
In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz lists being impeccable with your word as one of the four.
Honesty and integrity are values we cherish and strive to cultivate within ourselves and instill in our children.
Building a reputation of truthfulness is not as easy as it may sound. Telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, is not always in our best interest. There are things that are better left unsaid.
It takes courage to be honest about our feelings. It takes practice to learn how to communicate our truth with others in a loving, respectful way. It takes discipline to not call people names, to not hurl epithets and to stay focused on ‘I’ messages rather than, ‘you’, ‘you’, ‘you’.
In these tumultuous times it feels more important than ever to examine our impeccability.
“Be impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz
“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” ~Bob Marley
“To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.” ~Douglas Adams
Wishing everyone a blessed week!
Fun
“We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.” ~William Glasser
My introduction to Dr. Glasser was through his book, Positive Addiction. I sporadically followed his work, especially in the area of applied ‘choice theory’. I very much like that he considers ‘fun’ a genetic need.
“Are we having fun yet?” My Mother’s favorite comment when an outing or other similar fun event wasn’t going too well. For a long time I mildly resented her comment until I reached a level of maturity that allowed me to enjoy her humorous aside.
I love having fun! “Fun is good,” says Dr. Seuss. Fun is not only good, it is a genetic need. It is as essential for positive living, relieving stress and staying grounded, balanced and healthy, as is prayer and meditation. Never underestimate the importance of having fun.
“Fun is one of the most important – and underrated – ingredients in any successful venture. If you’re not having fun, then it’s probably time to call it quits and try something else.” ~Richard Branson
“If you go around being afraid, you’re never going to enjoy life. You have only one chance so you’ve got to have fun.” ~Lindsay Vaughn
I invite you into this week to have a lot of fun!
