Archive for the ‘Finding Your Center’ Category
Hello Again!
Hello everyone! It has been awhile since I’ve posted.
I am recovering from a fractured femur.
I was hiking and took a spill…ambulance ride, ER, surgery, hospital stay and rehab, the whole show.
I am healing well and starting to get back into my normal routine, including the work I love.
If you are wanting a Session/Consult, please give me a call, 707-887-8485 or text me at 707-293-4133.
My computer is still not cooperating even after a few attempts for repair and a new hard drive. Ugh!!
Spring is blossoming beautifully. It is the season of fresh beginnings, and I am so grateful for the renewal.
Wishing you all a beautiful, blessed Spring season!
July 4 2021
Sunday we celebrate Independence Day. Inviting you all to reflect on the gift of freedom.
There is much to be said for the struggles we face and the erosion of personal and collective freedom, but not on the 4th of July. It is a time to celebrate the glory and heritage of our independence.
This year feels especially significant. Emerging from the shadow of Covid-19 and starting to experience the freedom to move about, to connect directly with family and friends, is certainly something to celebrate.
Not throwing caution to the wind, but being able to join together in the celebration of our independence is a treasured gift!
Blessings!
Subconscious
I was reading an article by Carolyn Cole LCPC, LMFT, NCC in the Highly Sensitive Refuge May 3, 2021 newsletter, when this sentence lit up my whole attention.
The subconscious mind is “…the part of you responsible for holding onto emotions, core beliefs and your patterns.” And research “…shows that the subconscious mind guides 90% of daily life.”
So, the smart, logical, analytical and reasonable part of me isn’t really in charge as I always imagined. All of my decisions originate in my emotional brain…in my subconscious.
The article itself drew my attention as the topic inspired some great conversation the week before with a couple of family members.
How Toxic Generational Patterns Affect HSPs (and What You Can Do to Break Them) is very well done. And in my estimation gives clear examples of how this happens, and also gives excellent guidelines for breaking these toxic patterns.
“Our thoughts are mainly controlled by our subconscious, which is largely formed by the age of 6, and you cannot change the subconscious mind by thinking about it. That’s why the power of positive thinking will not work for most people. The subconscious mind is like a tape player. Until you change the tape, it will not change.” ~Bruce Lipton
“Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.” ~Robert Collier
“Values cannot be changed through reason, only through experience.” ~Mark Manson
This week I invite you to do an inventory. Check out your Thinking Brain and your Emotional Brain. Are they working together as a team?
Blessings!
Envy
Envy is a reflection of low self-esteem. The desire to have what someone else has, or more often, to be what someone else is.
When the journey to the authentic self is achieving positive results, thoughts and behaviors, thinking and acting, reflect self-confidence. Envy substantially disappears.
Gloating over a friend or co-workers errors and failures originates from feelings of inadequacy. It is a close relative of envy.
“When men are full of envy they disparage everything, whether it be good or bad.” ~Tacitus
Jealousy is a cousin of envy. Envy wants what others have, jealously fears losing something you have.
Making the effort to listen to our envy can be very profitable for personal growth, and inner peace.
It can be message informing us of a desire we have. For example, we envy the creative ability of a good friend. This envy may be strongly reflecting our own desire to be creative, thus encouraging us to explore creative abilities.
“Carrying envy makes life more difficult.” ~Kym Whitney
Consuming envy is very destructive (as is consuming jealousy); robbing us of health, well-being, personal fulfillment and happiness.
“Envy is an insult to one self.” ~ Yevgeny Yevtushenko
It is highly unlikely for envy to to fill our unmet needs. Self-examination is invaluable in determining if what you envy is something you really desire.
Envy reinforces our feelings of being ‘less than’ and moves us far away from feelings of gratitude, success and appreciation of what we have and who we are. Stealing joy and accomplishment from our daily life.
We can only be in one moment at a time. You choose how you want to spend these precious moments.
Blessings!
The Journey
A dear friend recently shared this poem by Mary Oliver with me.
It is a beautiful message about leaving darkness and negativity behind and making the journey to our authentic self.
The Journey
by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and
began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice —
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to
do,
though the wind pried
with all its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and
deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do —
determined to save
the only life that you could
save.
Blessings!
No
Learning to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty, selfish or fearing I won’t be liked, has been a great challenge for me. I met the challenge and my life is richer, fuller, more grounded and peaceful than I ever could have imagined.
My success does not mean that I never encounter feelings of guilt, of deeply feeling like I can’t speak my truth because I don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings. This dilemma is before me now.
To help support myself as I wrestle with expressing my truth I found some quotes to remind me not to compromise my authentic self; to help me stay on course; to help me find the time and the words that are loving and kind for us both. I am sharing them with you.
“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.” ~Andrew Matthews
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” ~Anna Taylor
These help me to stay centered and focused on what is best for me. And ultimately, what is best for the other person as well.
Blessings!
Bedrock
“…the solid rock underlying unconsolidated surface materials.” (Merriam-Webster).
The word bedrock has been coming up frequently in the past few weeks. Choosing a solid foundation upon which to build an authentic life is a lot of hard work. Yet, if we don’t consider this fundamental element of the process we are not likely to achieve lasting success.
“It is not the beauty of the building you should look at, its the construction of the foundation that will stand the test of time.” ~David Allen Coe
Many times the foundation upon which our lives are built has flaws that we didn’t choose, attitudes and beliefs about ourselves and others that came from our family of origin, how we were raised, the experiences we had growing up and our enculturation; flaws that need correcting.
“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” ~David Brinkley
Picking the right materials and finding the support that is appropriate for you is essential to the success of building a strong foundation.
“Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish” ~Barbara Smith
Trusting the process as we make the journey to the authentic self teaches us how to love ourselves and each other…then we all flourish.
“Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offence. Love keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over other men’s sins, but delights in the truth. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance.” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Blessings!
Reality
“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present, the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” ~Dali Lama
“Tomorrow and plans for tomorrow can have no significance at all unless you are in full contact with the reality of the present, since it is in the present and only the present that you live. There is no other reality than present reality, so that even, if one were to live for endless ages, to live for the future would be to miss the point everlastingly.” ~Alan Watts
It is very challenging to discipline thoughts and feelings that interrupt or dominate the present moment. The internal editor must be ever-diligent, eliminating negative chatter and negative thinking. The gifts of staying focused on the present moment, staying in the present moment, are many, chief among them inner peace. A regular meditation practice is an excellent way to learn to be in the present, and to stay in the present moment.
If you don’t have a regular prayer/meditation practice, I invite you to give it a try. Find a style that works for you, a style that is compatible with who you are and compliments your daily routine. If you have one this might be a good time to assess its effectiveness and make adjustments if necessary.
Blessings!
Mastery Part 2
I am experiencing a strong desire to rise above the current divisive and disruptive national dialogue.
To satisfy this burning desire demands that I engage mastering my emotional responses.
The two essential keys to achieving mastery of emotional and psychic sensitivities are a strong, active belief system, and control of the inner dialogue; especially the thought-words that foment hopelessness, helplessness, and anger that turned inward manifests as depression and dis-ease.
Mastery is a process, not an event. As a process it requires us to be diligent; to consistently monitor our inner dialogue and to set strong boundaries that prevent negative, disruptive and destructive word-thoughts from robbing us of joyful living.
“Self-control is in strength. Calmness is mastery. You have to get to a point where your mood doesn’t shift based on the insignificant actions of someone else. Don’t allow others to control your life. Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence” ~Morgan Freeman
There is more here…true mastery is achieved when the actions of others that are not insignificant in the way they may affect you, are rendered impotent. You are able to employ these principles and not allow the negative inner dialogue to overwhelm you, to drown you in a sea of unworthiness, anger and despair.
Mastery is achieved through the process of managing the inner dialogue. Engaging in a dedicated practice of changing guilt, shame and pressure words into empowering choice words opens the door to greater creativity and a fuller enjoyment of daily living.
For example, I ‘have to’ get this report done! Look at the angst this creates, ‘have to’, ‘got to’ messages are not going to make the task easy. Yet, changing the words to ‘I choose to’, ‘I want to’ to complete this report, is empowering. You are in charge. You are in control. You ‘want’ to get it done, you ‘choose’ to finish it now. This is choosing to be free from pressure, from procrastination, from destructive self-images and imperious self-judgements.
“You cannot control what happens to you but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you. In that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~Brian Tracy
I believe that this is some of the hardest work we can ever do on the journey to our authentic selves.
Negative words are built into our developing psyche. The ‘cant’s’, ‘have to’, ‘got to’, ‘need to’, ‘should’, ‘should’ve’, ‘must dos’, and ‘dont’s’, will take a great deal of commitment and diligence to change to into choice words, ‘I choose’, ‘I want’, ‘I can’. These are the words that support, encourage and empower; when they become dominant in our inner dialogue, they lead to mastery.
Achieving this mastery leads to greater self-esteem, confidence, and, most importantly vibrant health and robust inner peace.
Blessings!
Calm
Continuing the simple theme, today I share with you these quotes for meditating on calm.
“Many a calm river begins as a turbulent waterfall, yet none hurtles and foams all the way to the sea.” ~Mikhail Lermontov
“When adversity strikes, that’s when you have to be the most calm. Take a step back, stay strong, stay grounded and press on.” ~LL Cool J
“Where there’s a storm, from one moment to the next, God can bring calm. That’s why I have faith. I confide in him and give myself to his hands.” ~Yoel Romero
Many Blessings!
