Insights – Melannie Thomas

Archive for the ‘Health & Healing’ Category

The root of the word ‘option’ is from L. optare, to wish or desire.  My old and new Websters both define option as “…the power to choose”.

We easily take for granted our many routine ‘options’. How we spend our money, who we hang out with, where we live, what we do with our ‘free’ time, what we eat, how we dress, who we vote for, what spiritual path we follow, these are options in the true sense of fulfilling our desires or wishes.  Having the right and the freedom to choose is an enormous power.

There are often times in our lives when we feel we have no choice, no options.  We feel trapped.  Trapped in a job, a marriage, a relationship, an addiction, a dynamic, even a physical limitation.  We can’t imagine that we have any other ‘option’ but to keep things as they are.  Very often it is fear that keeps us bound to circumstances we don’t really desire.  Fear of the unknown, fear of what others may think of us, peer pressure, social mores, religious beliefs, all these are influences that can mask the fact that we have options.

Facing how much free will and choice we actually have is a scary proposition.  For example, acknowledging that we are not, in fact, trapped in a bad relationship, that we have no obligation to remain a victim of circumstance, means making a conscious decision to stay or to go.  We come face to face with our fears. Regardless of what others may say or do, the decision is ours. We are responsible.

It is a good thing to have options whether we exercise them or not.  Consciously acknowledging to ourselves our power of choice, the full potency of our free will, the real scope of the options before us is not only empowering but frees us from many traps.

My 1951 Websters ( unabridged addition) states that the origin of budget means a bag or a pouch.  My Merriam-Webster (11th addition) calls bouge, a leather bag.

Of the various definitions from both above-mentioned resources, I chose the following: a ‘Plan of affairs’ and ‘…an amount available for a particular use’.  Additionally, I added ‘energy budget’ to create a working definition to help guide me through some upcoming stellar events; a family wedding; a family re-union; and a few family mile-stone birthdays.

I fantasized briefly about having more than adequate monies, time and energy available so I could just sail through all these events with a kind of joyful abandon.  Then BOOM, reality blows my fantasy away.  I need a budget.  Relishing having unlimited funds to spend on travel, dress, decorations, gifts, catering, hired help and various other accoutrement evaporated into thin air.  The full scope of the challenge before me began to take root in my psyche, my body and my purse.  How many ways can I stretch a couple thousand dollars to do a ten-thousand dollar job?

I will have a budget.  I will comparison shop; I will invite good planing; I will accept my limitations; I will invite team-work; I will have a plan of affairs; I will allocate time, energy and funds befitting each event; and I will pace myself to the best of my ability.  Most importantly, I will focus with joyful abandon on how rich I truly am!

When beginning a new year, a new cycle, passion is activated, engaged.  We are energized and enthusiastic.  Stepping beyond the passion that fuels our intimate relationships and looking deeply within for the passions that feed our souls, what do we find?

For some the answer is evident in active ongoing involvement with creative expression, athletic activity, causes, and, commitments to desires of the heart that bring deep satisfaction.  For others the road is less clear.

I believe there are some key components to passionate expression of the soul.  Essential to successfully living your passion  are belief or faith, trust, commitment, desire, confidence, willingness including the willingness to be wrong, to lose, to stand up to ridicule, to step out of your comfort zone, to try new things, to accept criticism as well as accolades, to work with others or to work alone, to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

As we enter 2012 and the labor pains birthing a new age become  more powerful and more intense the necessity is greater than ever for each of us to find and to persue our passions.

Our thought processes come with the development of language.  The English language, in particular, is not static; it continues to grow, to change, to develop.  ‘Words of the Year’ reflect major themes, conditions, roles, and changes in our society at large over a given period.  Occupy, chosen the Word of the Year for 2011 by the American Dialect Society, is a good example of this process.  Pragmatic is the Word of the Year for 2011 chosen by the folks at Merriam-Webster.

Whatever your thoughts and feelings are about the Occupy Movement, it is a historical event of global proportions. The Merriam-Webster definition of occupy is  “…to engage the attention or energies of….”  To be pragmatic is to “…be down-to-earth, realistic….”

On a personal note as we begin 2012, I invite you to bring occupy pragmatically into your daily activity.  Find a cause, a circumstance, a situation wherein you can engage the attention or energy of yourself and create a down-to-earth, realistic goal for personal change in your life.

T

This word of the week blossomed in my mind refusing to be passed over, calling my consciousness to its timeliness.  To be resolute is to be ‘…firmly determined in purpose’.  Our seasonal ritual of making resolutions always includes this firm determination to change…to change ourselves or our situation in some fundamental way; to improve ourselves.  ‘True’, ‘loyal’, and ‘faith’ are all synonyms for resolute; and resolution is an action word.

I received a very insightful e-mail regarding the focus of this traditional passage.  Rather than direct our steadfast determination to change a pattern, behavior, habit, or situation that we consider negative, why not shift the focus to the positive?  I invite you to examine the possibilities of exploring,  expanding, creating, discovering and using more of your innate potential.  And be resolute!

Christmas has passed and we are heading toward the New Year.  It is a traditional time for new beginnings and making resolutions.  According to Merriam-Webster, inspiration is “…the act or power of moving the intellect or the emotions.”  As you relfect on the year that is passing and make plans for the year to come, consider inspiration; allow inspiring goals to take form; welcome the opportunity to inspire others;  let your creativity flow.

Perhaps more than any other Season this time of year holds the greatest awarness of our traditions.  Solstice, Christmas, Hanakah, Kwanza and other winter celebrations have traditions unique to each.  And then there are family and individual traditions.  It is a very special time of year; a time to share; to give; to connect; to reflect; to create; to laugh; to cry; to pray; to focus on the best of human nature.

It is also a time that spotlights ‘need’ and the not-so-nice side of humanity.  As you go about the business of celebrating your seasonal traditions, I invite you to create a new one.  It can be as simple as saying a kind word or two to over-worked sales people; flash a hearty smile at harried strangers in the supermarket; say ‘thank you’ to the people who serve you all year long; make a donation to a favorite charity; support a local food-bank; be a Secret Santa.

Love is the greatest gift we can give and the finest tradition we can celebrate.

I love lights.  I am a huge fan of pyrotechnics; I  always have Christmas-like lights in my home in all seasons.  This time of year is a beautiful banquet of beams, sparkle, shimmer, twinkle, candlelight, lamplight firelight, white light and festivals of light.

Light is so necessary to our very existence in every sense; physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I invite you to enjoy, to relish the seasonal light show, including the most magnificent of all light shows…the starry heavens.  Winter brings clear, crisp, intimate viewing of the wonders of the heavens.  I saw a shooting star a couple of early mornings ago; brief and breath-taking.  It is also a time for deep reflection in the darkness of shorter days; a good opportunity for soul-review.

Invite the numinous; rejoice in the light.

Attitude is everything.   We all face the challenges of embodied living.  We all experience some really good days and  some really bad days.  Yet, the feelings we entertain about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ days are internal processes;  it is all about our attitude.

An experience from my childhood illustrates this well.  My Grandparents were taking me for a picnic and a swim at my beloved Putah Creek  (At that time there were no parks, you just found a good spot and we had a favorite).  It was a very hot day.  The anticipation of a good time in the water followed by eating the most awesome fried chicken in the world, had me positively giddy with excitement.  Then the unthinkable…a flat tire.  My Grandfather managed to get the car mostly off the road.  Then he got out to take a look at the situation.  As I watched him from the backseat a cloud of doom descended over me.  We were nowhere near our favorite spot.  My day was ruined!

Then my Grandfather disappeared.  I had not seen him walk toward the Creek which could not be seen from the road.  My Grandmother and I exchanged no words.  We sat in hot, sticky  silence; waiting.

Finally Grandfather was back.  He talked to my Grandmother and the next thing I knew we were loading our arms and backs with our picnic and heading off the side of the road through the weeds and rocks to the river.  There was no trail so it was a bit of effort, and did I mention it was really hot?  Then, there it was…he had scouted out a wonderful site.

We had an awesome day!  Late in the afternoon when it was considerably cooler, my Grandfather changed the tire and we headed back home.   Reflecting on this event many years later,  I realized the flexibility, the wisdom and the attitude that prevailed that hot summer afternoon.  The day wasn’t ruined because we  never made it to our ‘favorite’ spot.  There was no complaining, griping or other displays of frustration or anger.  There was a great lesson in attitude.

We seldom can change what happens outside of  us.  We do  have the power to change the attitude within us.

It is not always comfortable to cry.  Although we shed tears of joy, usually tears are shed because we are in pain; we hurt, physically, emotionally and/or spiritually.

As we mature especially in a culture that reveres stoicism. we tend to do our best to hide our tears as shedding them is often judged as a sign of weakness.  Or at the opposite extreme, a display of the melodramatic.  Yet, we have tear ducts for reasons beyond cleaning and moisturizing our eyes.  Tears poring forth from the depths of pain are healing.  Tears are cleansing and often bring relief to our sorely soulful bodies.

Crying can be a sacred action.  When these moments of pain and loss come into your life, and they will, allow the tears of healing.