Insights – Melannie Thomas

Archive for the ‘Intuitive Guidance’ Category

“…the solid rock underlying unconsolidated surface materials.” (Merriam-Webster).

The word bedrock has been coming up frequently in the past few weeks.  Choosing a solid foundation upon which to build an authentic life is a lot of hard work.   Yet, if we don’t consider this fundamental element of the process we are not likely to achieve lasting success.

“It is not the beauty of the building you should look at, its the construction of the foundation that will stand the test of time.”  ~David Allen Coe

Many times the foundation upon which our lives are built has flaws that we didn’t choose, attitudes and beliefs about ourselves and others that came from our family of origin, how we were raised, the experiences we had growing up and our enculturation; flaws that need correcting.

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”  ~David Brinkley

Picking the right materials and finding the support that is appropriate for you is essential to the success of building a strong foundation.

“Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living.  It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built.  Where trust is, love can flourish”  ~Barbara Smith

Trusting the process as we make the journey to the authentic self teaches us how to love ourselves and each other…then we all flourish.

“Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one.  Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offence.  Love keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over other men’s sins, but delights in the truth.  There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance.”   ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Blessings!

This week’s word means trust, a desire accompanied by an expectation of fulfillment.

May the following quotes inspire renewal and strengthening of hope.

“Love recognizes no barriers.  It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”  ~Maya Angelou

“Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”  ~Robert Kennedy

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.  Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”  ~Helen Keller

“Man.  Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.  Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.  And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present, the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” ~Dali Lama

“Tomorrow and plans for tomorrow can have no significance at all unless you are in full contact with the reality of the present, since it is in the present and only the present that you live.  There is no other reality than present reality, so that even, if one were to live for endless ages, to live for the future would be to miss the point everlastingly.”  ~Alan Watts

It is very challenging to discipline thoughts and feelings that interrupt or dominate the present moment.   The internal editor must be ever-diligent, eliminating negative chatter and negative thinking.   The gifts of staying focused on the present moment, staying in the present moment, are many, chief among them inner peace.  A regular meditation practice is an excellent way to learn to be in the present, and to stay in the present moment.

If you don’t have a regular prayer/meditation practice, I invite you to give it a try.  Find a style that works for you, a style that is compatible with who you are and compliments your daily routine.  If you have one this might be a good time to assess its effectiveness and make adjustments if necessary.

Blessings!

I am experiencing a strong desire to rise above the current divisive and disruptive national dialogue.

To satisfy this burning desire demands that I engage mastering my emotional responses.

The two essential keys to achieving mastery of emotional and psychic sensitivities are a strong, active belief system, and control of the inner dialogue; especially the thought-words that foment hopelessness, helplessness, and anger that turned inward manifests as depression and dis-ease.

Mastery is a process, not an event.  As a process it requires us to be diligent; to consistently monitor our inner dialogue and to set strong boundaries that prevent negative, disruptive and destructive word-thoughts from robbing us of joyful living.

“Self-control is in strength. Calmness is mastery.  You have to get to a point where your mood doesn’t shift based on the insignificant actions of someone else.  Don’t allow others to control your life.  Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence”  ~Morgan Freeman

There is more here…true mastery is achieved when the actions of others that are not insignificant in the way they may affect you, are rendered impotent.  You are able to employ these principles and not allow the negative inner dialogue to overwhelm you, to drown you in a sea of unworthiness, anger and despair.

Mastery is achieved through the process of managing the inner dialogue.  Engaging in a dedicated practice of changing guilt, shame and pressure words into empowering choice words opens the door to greater creativity and a fuller enjoyment of daily living.

For example,  I ‘have to’ get this report done!  Look at the angst this creates, ‘have to’, ‘got to’ messages are not going to make the task easy.  Yet, changing the words to ‘I choose to’, ‘I want to’ to complete this report, is empowering.  You are in charge.  You are in control. You ‘want’ to get it done, you ‘choose’ to finish it now.  This is choosing to be free from pressure, from procrastination, from destructive self-images and imperious self-judgements.

“You cannot control what happens to you but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you.  In that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”  ~Brian Tracy

I believe that this is some of the hardest work we can ever do on the journey to our authentic selves.

Negative words are built into our developing psyche.  The ‘cant’s’, ‘have to’, ‘got to’, ‘need to’, ‘should’, ‘should’ve’,  ‘must dos’, and ‘dont’s’, will take a great deal of commitment and diligence to change to into choice words, ‘I choose’, ‘I want’, ‘I can’.  These are the words that support, encourage and empower; when they become dominant in our inner dialogue, they lead to mastery.

Achieving this mastery leads to greater self-esteem, confidence, and, most importantly vibrant health and robust inner peace.

Blessings!

The fourth agreement in The Four Agreements is to “Always Do Your Best.”  Making this agreement a routine, a habit, assures the implementation and success of the other three.

We don’t try, we do.  Often we hold ourselves to unrealistic standards.  Believing, for example, that we can watch TV all day yet still find the time and energy to meet the day’s demands.  Conversely, we may believe that always doing your best means that always performing prodigiously is a personal standard.  Both of these beliefs are inherently flawed.

One cannot twitter away the day and expect to not be rushed, frustrated and unhappy with chores, commitments and goals left undone or only partially completed.  Likewise,  always doing our best does not mean performing at the same level regardless of what is going on in our life at the moment.  For example, you cannot be at the same energetic level of action when your are ill versus when you are in top physical condition.

What is imperative is doing your best in the moment, regardless of whatever circumstances the moment brings.  There is no more.  There is only the best effort in the moment for the conditions of that moment.

Don Miguel says, “You can only be you when you do your best.  When you don’t do your best you are denying yourself the right to be you.”   “If you always do your best over and over again, you will become a master of transformation.”

The third agreement, “Don’t Make Assumptions,” is profoundly connected to the second.  When we make assumptions about anything or any one, at conscious and/or subconscious levels we become invested in expectations.  When our expectations are not met, we take it personally.

Don Miguel says, “We make assumptions that everyone sees life the way we do.”  This assuming is particularly evident at the beginning of a romantic relationship.  Both parties asking few questions, assuming a great deal, and over-investing in their expectations.  As the romantic phase fades, reality sets in and the parties are stunned by their failed expectations.

Asking questions and clarifying communication are the keys for avoiding the ensuing drama of making assumptions.  The majority of us are quite timid when it comes to this critical aspect of communication; afraid to make ourselves vulnerable; fearful of being judged.

In The Four Agreements Don Miguel states, “If you don’t understand something, it is better for you to ask and be clear, instead of making an assumption.  The day you stop making assumptions you will communicate cleanly and clearly, free of emotional poison.  Without making assumptions your word becomes impeccable.”

The second agreement in the Toltec Wisdom book, The Four Agreements, is “Don’t Take Anything Personally.”

The human majority believe that other people or situations can make us respond in certain ways.  For example, ‘My boss made me so angry.’ or ‘My friend really hurt my feelings.’  We re-act from a place of conditioning.  Anger is a choice, albeit also a conditioned response.  As Don Miguel states, the comments and behaviors of others which ‘hurt’ us, hurt us because these things touch personal wounds that we carry.

To not take things personally is very challenging work.  Yet, when we establish the habit of non-reaction to the feedback of others, both positive and negative, we find our true center, our true self-esteem.

Continuing the simple theme, today I share with you these quotes for meditating on calm.

“Many a calm river begins as a turbulent waterfall, yet none hurtles and foams all the way to the sea.”  ~Mikhail Lermontov

“When adversity strikes, that’s when you have to be the most calm.  Take a step back, stay strong, stay grounded and press on.”  ~LL Cool J

“Where there’s a storm, from one moment to the next, God can bring calm.  That’s why I have faith.  I confide in him and give myself to his hands.”  ~Yoel Romero

Many Blessings!

Encouraging words are balm for our soul-selves.  The need has never seemed greater.

The following words of encouragement are few so as not to overwhelm our psyches; rather to softly soothe them.

“Do not let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do.”  ~John Wooden

“When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.”  ~Byron Katie

“Don’t stop.  Don’t lose hope.  Don’t sell out.”  ~Christopher Reeve

Blessings!