Archive for July 8th, 2013
Flarmies
Flarmies, bat wings, arm charms, chicken flaps, and bingo wings are all descriptive terms for saggy upper arms. I was born with them. You may have been too.
In an age of svelte, trim, toned, lasered and tucked everything, flarmies aren’t a desirable body part. Neither are saddle-bags, muffin tops, thunder thighs, love handles, middle-aged spread, spare tires and turkey necks.
American’s earnestly pursue staying young, being thin and getting rich. But alas, aging, diets loaded with sugar and fat, and a rapidly disappearing middle-class, all put challenging blockades in the path of such dreams. But back to flarmies.
I kinda knew all along that they were in my future because my wonderful Grandmother had them. She was a very active woman and never allowed her weight to exceed 120 lbs. And she had awesome flarmies! Mom had them too, in spite of regular workouts with hand-held weights.
I actually prefer bat wings to flarmies. I can envision myself base jumping or hang-gliding with no need for special equipment ’cause I have built in bat wings. I confess I have never tried them out. (Perhaps mine are really chicken flaps.).
There are a plethora of remedies for this condition including surgical procedures; I assume as a last resort. However, I find acceptance as good a solution as any. It does not cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars and it is painless.
Now I am not one to flaunt my flarmies, and like Batman, I prefer to be discrete about my bat wings. But I have them and they are part of my arm charm.