July 2013
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Flarmies

Flarmies, bat wings, arm charms, chicken flaps, and bingo wings are all descriptive terms for saggy upper arms.  I was born with them.  You may have been too.

In an age of svelte, trim, toned,  lasered and tucked everything,  flarmies aren’t a desirable body part.  Neither are saddle-bags, muffin tops, thunder thighs, love handles, middle-aged spread, spare tires and turkey necks.

American’s earnestly pursue staying young, being thin and getting rich.  But alas, aging,  diets loaded with sugar and fat, and a rapidly disappearing middle-class, all put challenging blockades in the path of such dreams.  But back to flarmies.

I kinda knew all along that they were in my future because my wonderful Grandmother had them.  She was a very active woman and never allowed her weight to exceed 120 lbs.  And she had awesome flarmies!  Mom had them too,  in spite of regular workouts with hand-held weights.

I actually prefer  bat wings to flarmies.  I can envision myself base jumping or hang-gliding with no need for special equipment ’cause I have built in bat wings.  I confess I have never tried them out.  (Perhaps mine are  really  chicken flaps.).

There are a plethora of remedies for this condition including  surgical procedures; I assume as a last resort.  However, I find acceptance as good a solution as any.  It does not cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars and it is painless.

Now I am not one to flaunt my flarmies,  and like Batman, I prefer to be discrete about my bat wings.  But I have them and they are part of  my arm charm.

 

 

 

 

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