June 2014
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Collision

I am making a left turn on a green light.  He appears suddenly in the middle of the road; going the wrong way and against a red light.  There is no way to avoid colliding.  He is on a bicycle.

I hear the heavy thud bounce down the passenger side of my car.  I stop, put my car in park, turn on the flashers (it is a really busy road), and jump out of my car.  Profound dread is filling my being; I expect he is dead.

He is upright, straddling his bicycle.  He greets me with, “Oh Maam, I am so sorry, I am so sorry.”  I start crying.   I am working to control my breathing; control my out-of-control adrenalin response.  I am stunned.  I am in shock.  I keep saying, “Are you OK?,  Are you OK?”  He says he has a little cut on his hand.  He keeps apologizing.

Passersby are asking me if I am OK.  Asking me if I need help.  Many witnessed the collision.  I just keep crying.

Then anger.  I scold the young man.  “What are you thinking?”  “You could get killed!”  He shouts at me, “…yes I could as fast as you were driving.”  He rides off.

I get in my car and continue on my way to the grocery store.  I am in a weird daze.  I can’t stop crying.  I manage to compose myself, and in some sort of adrenalin stupor get my weekly shopping done.

The stupor continues long past the drive home.  Finally, the groceries are unloaded and put away.  I am still weeping, but softly now.  I pour a glass of wine and  seek the comfort of my favorite chair.

My mornings begin with a prayer, “Guide me, lead me, direct me and protect me.”  My evening prayer is, “Thank you, for guiding me, leading me, directing me, and protecting me.”

That night, safe at home, I was overwhelmed by the  protection that extended beyond myself and blessed that young man.

 

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